What happens when we pray for others? As we pray for others, we participate in a spiritual community of love. Instead of relating to each other directly, we go through the mediator Jesus Christ. Instead of simply going on our own wisdom, tell others what's "good" for them, telling them to change this and that, doing things to them "for their good" as we judge it, we come to Christ.
This takes us into the deep nature of life together in the kingdom of God. This life is shown in its horizontal (human) and vertical (divine) dimensions. As we wish for the good of others, we do not simply tell them, criticize them, or help them simply on our own terms. As Dallas Willard puts it:
Among those who live as Jesus' apprentices there are no relationships that omit the presence and action of Jesus. We never go "one on one"; all relationships are mediated through him. I never think simply of what I am going to do with you, to you, or for you. I think of what we, Jesus and I, are going to do with you, to you, and for you. Likewise, I never think of what you are going to do with me, to me, and for me, but of what will be done by you and Jesus with me, to me, and for me.
Thought that was a beautiful way of putting it. As we pray, we walk hand in hand with Jesus for the good of others. We ask Him for others as we intercede. That is the best way to truly help someone. Not on our own unilateral terms, knowing how fallible and oft-mistaken we are. And as Dietrich Bonhoffer says,
As Christ can speak to me in such a way that I may be saved, so others, too, can be saved only by Christ Himself. This means that I must release the other person from every attempt of mine to regulate, coerce, and dominate him [or her] with my love... Thus this spiritual love will speak to Christ about a brother more than to a brother about Christ. It knows that the most direct way to others is always through prayer to Christ and that love of others is wholly dependent on the truth in Christ.
(Life Together)
Indeed, how often we have the temptation to simply "straighten others out" for their own good. How often have we tried to give them our "pearls of wisdom" without so much as talking to God about it first! And how many times have we been frustrated by our efforts on how people don't seem to change, to break through their problems, even after we have pointed them out. How frequent have we tried to offer "solutions" to people's predicaments without truly understanding their position, empathizing with them as only Jesus, the Great High Priest, can.
Let us not forget that the primary way to help others is to pray for them first. Bring them to the throne of grace, and then together, with Jesus, reach out to them. Not that we don't do anything concrete or say anything edifying to them, but that we do not neglect - as we are so prone to - the quiet but indispensable ministry of prayer. Carry them to Jesus always, presevere in prayer, don't give up, look to God, and see how He works.
Sometimes the effect is almost immediate, sometimes it takes time, at times we find that God brings us into a new understanding of that person's situation; other times we learn that we are the ones who need to change, yet other times we learn to trust that God has better plans of which the present reality is already a part.
Whichever way it is, let us continue to intercede for the good of those around us, and then those who are not so near, but nevertheless are instantly reached by a request to God.
