trust

Trust in the LORD with all your heart

and lean not on your own understanding;

In all your ways acknowledge him,

and he will make your paths straight.

These familiar verses, taken from Proverbs 3:5-6, have been read countless times by myself. Even in my old primary school ACJS, I recall these words displayed prominently upon the walls.

But how difficult they are to live out.

I wonder how often we trust God, let alone with all our heart. Sometimes, it is hard to measure. But lately, I have realised that we can perhaps know through the second line - how much are we leaning on our own understanding? When a decision is to be made, when a crisis comes, when something we do not like happens, how do we react? So often, we take control ourselves. I dont mean that we take control of the situation or control the circumstances; what I mean is that we react out of our own will and understanding. We tend to grasp, to want to react our own way, to interpret the situation with our own understanding, and not pausing to let God come in.

Leaning on our own understanding doesnt refer to using the intellect and mind that God has given us. I think it refers to reliance. Do we ultimately put our reliance on our own understanding, our own 'wisdom', or in God Himself? Do we see Him as the totally sufficient, all-satisfying God, who is both sovereign and good? Many times, we may have a feeling that we should obey God in a certain thing, but we extinguish or ignore that notion by reasoning it away, using our own understanding of the situation. We either rationalize by being too practical, too idealistic, too emotional, too rational - whichever fits what we want. And when obedience goes against what we want, it is difficult to trust. It seems easy to trust God in games which you excel in, in subjects you like, in dealing with happy situations. But whether we have really that trust, only a crisis will reveal. Because when a crisis comes, the natural way, the fallen way, is to lean on our own understanding. It is only when we are truly filled with the Holy Spirit, and sensitive to Him, that we can stand a chance against our own understanding.

In all your ways acknowledge Him. See the unequivocal statement. All our hearts, in all our ways. There is no exception, no loophole to find. I doubt anyone who truly follows this will ever find it easy. In fact, it must be impossible but for the grace of God. I suppose God demands the humanly impossible, in part so that we have to acknowledge His divine strength, to plead for His grace and depend on it, to realise how small, how weak, how foolish we are. And if we truly trust and obey, there comes the straight paths, there comes the dawning realisation of our past foolishness, there comes the emerging delight of God's glory and His wonderful ways.

Because ultimately, all good things come from above. (Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17). If we go down the wrong path, even the temporary pleasures will one day seem dull and terribly unsatisfying. But if we walk the straight path today, then even the pain and discomfort will be transformed into nuggets of His wisdom and grace, and the path shall lead ever-closer to true happiness.